Wednesday, September 4, 2019

Culture

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I think that each person at some stage at his or her lives, wander what culture is all about. I personally think about that often. In order for a person to appreciate their family, friends and all the other people around them, one must understand what culture is all about. Culture is a body in a way of how we behave. In my opinion culture is the way same people live in a different societies. People, who have different meanings, promise rules and norms. The most important thing which culture gives us is an identity or an understanding of which we really are. Things like race is only a physical appearance of a person, nationality is a citizenship which one has. But if we look inside of each individual of different culture, we will find that we all the same people. We all have feelings, understandings and our blood is the same color. Each culture has it's own opinions and in order for us to communicate with each other, we need to learn other understandings to life. For example Christianity and Judaism are very different in certain understandings. Islam's and Hinduism are also very different from each other. But we all people who try to survive in one way or the other in order to make our lives happy and love of our close ounce. I personally come from Russian-Jewish family were we tried to keep our understandings and believes. We try to pass it from generation to generation in order not to lose our family believes and understandings. About fifty or sixty years ago Jewish people could not even practice or talk about their religion. Why? Because Jewish people were not considered to be people. People had to hide their nationality or religion in order to survive in that country. My grandparents had to change their last names because otherwise they would have to live the country. Jewish person could not get in to a good school or find a good job. And if one of their closest relatives would live somewhere to find better life, they would be considered as enemies. When my aunt came here twenty-five years ago, my grandmother had to live her job because her relative left to United States. The reason why I' m writing about all that is because I never had a chance to really find out what my religion was all about. That is the reason why I am here. But one of the biggest concerns of my country was to have a discipline of how people look at life. Today my topic is going to be "having children before marriage is not allowed in Russia. "That was the big concern which every person who as born in Russia knew about. If a young girl or even an older woman whether she planned to get married or was married at some point in her life could never have children before the wedding. It was so embarrassing for the family that sometimes, they would have to live one city and go somewhere else where nobody knows them. I interviewed few people who are different age, they all came from Russia at different time and it is funny how they all answered the same .The first person was my friends great-grandmother. She is ninety years old, when I asked her a question of "what does she think of having kids before marriage?" She looked at me and started to laugh. She said this free country spoiled you young lady? So I had to explain to her why do I need this for .She was embarrassed to talk to me about that, but she started to talk. She said "if I would come home saying to my mother or father that I had some kind of kiss with any guy, they would punish me for the rest of the month." So I said why did you have to say it to your parents if you knew the outcomes .She said that the time was very different then now. All children (and I do not mean small children, I am talking about 18-0 years of age) were raised the way to say everything to their parents, because they were smarter and had more knowledge in life. She said that they were so naïve that they did not even know where the children were coming from and never asked their parents. So I was curious when they got married and planned to have children where the knowledge were coming from? She said that it was naturally. Then I asked my mother, she was always open with me and tried to explain to me everything as clear as possible. One of the biggest reasons why she was so open with me is because her mother (who is my grandmother) was always embarrassed to talk to her about all that. It seemed like my mother was more modern already; she was more open and understanding the modern life. But from day one, she was telling me how embarrassing it was for a girl to have a child and not to have a father around him. And not only that she always tells me how hard it is to raise a baby by yourself financially and physically. The child always needs two parents to raise him/her. Then that baby grows out to be a normal and smart human being with the logical common cent. I have a great family where I am unfortunately the only child, but I always had a mother and a father to be there for me. I never knew what it is like to grow up in a family where it is fighting all the time or divorce. Of course I agree different situations in life might occur, but Russian families are very close. They do not believe in divorce. The third person who I interviewed was my cousin he is about the same age as me. He looks at that topic a little different already then my mother, more modern. But even thought he is a young and popular guy, he said the family must be close and only when you know that you want to be with a person more or less 100%, then you can plan to have kids. If the young girl gets pregnant in Russia and she is not married, most of the time guys marry them and then they have miserable lives. In conclusion I want to say that this beautiful country gives you freedom to do what ever you want. Ant I see a lot of young girls who have children first and then decide to get married or not. I never judge anybody because everybody have it's own opinions of how to live and make their lives better. But I personally think that because of all that, children are those who suffer the most. They don't know who their fathers are and sometimes it makes some people mad. This makes them to go and hurt other people. What I got from those interviews that people with generations become more educated and of course I can not tell you that I do not know where children are coming from. But I can tell you for sure that I will try to teach my kids as best as possible to understand that everything has to be in order. First love, then marriage, then comes a baby in a carriage. For me child is something that God gives you, and you have to appreciate every step of it's being. I hope that every woman who grows up understands those first needs to be a good husband only then he will be a good father.


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