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Have you ever attended a function, meeting or social gathering where two people couldn't get along? Where some people handled situations or decisions in a healthier fashion or used what theorist and psychologist like to call "cognitive conflict" style?Or have you been the person in the group who tended to get over-emotional or demanding when plans had to involve several types of people or styles of discussing? Fortunately we have several ways to achieve a more productive and a less destructive resolution. Conflict among team members can have either a positive or negative effect depending on how the team manages their communication skills and come to an effective resolution.The Story with Five EndingsThe hallways at Township Middle School were always crowded. Jamie had three minutes to get from math class on the far west end of the school to his band room behind the stage on the east end of the building. The band instructor expected everyone to be seated and tuned up ready to play when the bell rang. Jamie sat by the doorway in math class to be sure he got a quick start. His classmates knew that Jamie tried hard to be on time. One Friday afternoon Chris, who sat behind Jamie in math class, thought hed have some fun. He silently tied a six-foot length of cord from Jamies belt loop to the desk, which he occupied. As usual, at the sound of the bell, Jamie took off with a bolt, headed for his band class. Just as he reached the hallway he was jerked to a halt, with the clatter of the toppled desk drawing the attention of all who were near enough to notice.
Ending #1 Nervous and embarrassed Jamie fumbled with the cord on his belt loop until he worked it loose. Then, trying to ignore the giggling and jeering classmates, he quickly slipped down the hall to the safety of his next class.Ending # Jamie was mad! He grew hotter as his fingers fumbled with the cord on his belt loop. His eyes flashed around looking for the culprit who did this. All he saw was laughing faces. He loosened himself from the cord and came flying after Chris. Stupid!! How dare you?Chris just kept pointing his finger at Jamie and laughing.Jamie threw Chris a hard punch, and Chris went sprawling to the floor.Ending # Still with his mind on getting to the band room on time, Jamie turned and scowled at Chris. Real cute, Chris, he commented. How about you pick up the desk and straighten up the mess while I go on to class?Still laughing, and considering his prank a success, Chris, in good humor, agreed.Ending #4 Jamie realized what had happened. He looked around and saw everyone staring at him giggling and pointing at the spectacle. Trying hard to stay cool, Jamie announced to the onlookers, Well, I guess I had this coming the way I always race out of here.Ending #5 Jamie realized he had been had. He heard the laughter of the other students. He felt foolish. He panicked knowing he would be late for band. He turned back to see Chris looking pleased and laughing. Very funny, Chris, he commented. Weve all had a good laugh, what are we going to do about this mess? You know I dont want to be late for my next class.Chris managed to get himself under control and looked squarely at Jamie. Hey, youre a good sport, Jamie. Ill pick up the mess. You get going. Yeah, youre O.K. (Green). Conflict may be viewed as a feeling, disagreement, a real or perceived incompatibility of interests, inconsistent worldviews, or a set of behaviors. How we view conflict will largely determine our attitude and approach to dealing with it. A person's approach to conflict, not only stems from what they have been taught about conflict and how they have experienced it, but also in their personality and culture. Conflict takes shape in two forms, emotional conflict and cognitive conflict. Emotional conflict affects a person rather than an issue or resolution. Emotional conflict only causes dysfunction and leads to general dissatisfaction among group members. While attacking a person, idea or value it leads to stress, disrespect and isolation from the emotional party by the team or group. As seen in endings #1 and # of the above story, emotional conflict led to physical pain and embarrassment for Jamie caused by Chris. In the following paragraphs it will reveal how Chris and Jamie could handle their conflict in a more constructive and healthy way. Cognitive conflict occurs when team members examine, compare and reconcile substantial issues related to their differences. The decisions made by a consensus of the team, rather by the most vocal or domineering individual, tend to have more value and worthiness with in the team itself. Cognitive conflict builds understanding and commitment for the team's goal and decision. "Cognitive conflict is largely depersonalized; also known as C-Type conflict, consists of about merits of ideas, plans and projects. Cognitive conflict is often effective in stimulating creativity because it forces people to rethink problems and arrive at outcomes that everyone can live with." (Thompson et al. 18). In responding to a disruptive act, if possible try immediately to convert with a constructive contribution. In ending #4, Jamie uses humor to diffuse the situation by stating, "Well I guess I had this coming the way I always race out of here." Jamie decides to act as the bigger man, and just play along with Chris' little game. In the end he realizes that if he makes a scene, it would probably egg on Chris even more, and escalate the situation. By not becoming emotional over the incident, Jamie used a bit of humor and effectively gave the situation a positive resolution. Mild suggestions or a bit of humor can lighten what could be an emotional disruption with in a team or group. Communication has an important role when it comes to converting emotional conflict into cognitive conflict. In order to overcome the emotions involved in a dispute, the barriers of communication must come down. Both sides must have the will to settle down and hear each other out. If one chooses not to communicate then the issue will go unsolved. The power of effective communication has vital task when it comes to determining a constructive outcome.In ending #, Jamie shows his disapproval in a non-threatening way. Again he realizes the consequences of making a big scene, so in this case he asks Chris how will this situation come to a solution, which comes down to the basics of communication. Chris agrees that Jamie had played his part and he would too, by picking up the mess that had occurred. In this scenario, Jamie initiated the resolution process. In ending 5, Chris steps up to resolve the uncomfortable situation between Jamie and him. Jamie in this case asks Chris what needs to take place in order to determine the solution of the incident. Chris takes a stand to fix the problem and tells Jamie that he will take care of the mess, so Jamie can get to class in a timely manner. In this case Chris took the initiative and resolved the matter. These two examples of conflict resolution show how either side can commence the process in settling the disagreement. The resolution can have several methods of arriving to the same conclusion. Sometimes it becomes necessary to invite an external mediator. In a variety of cases mediators may have to inject themselves in order to resolve the situation. A person will more likely see a mediator used in a professional environment rather than a personal, but not always the case. "The problem with the cost of conflict in the workplace is that it is not directly visible."( ). For this very reason, it becomes crucial for the mediator to jump in and take control of the situation. The fact that a mediator can usually offer an unbiased solution to the dispute assists in a beneficial outcome. Dr. Thomason's rule of thumb states, "If we were to average the cost of conflict across all employees in a medium to large size company, we can count at least two hours of work lost on average per employee per week. This means, every 0 employees represent one full time salary that is paid for nothing."( ). What company would not want to improve in the area of conflict after reading Dr. Thomason's rule? Conflict needs resolution in order to become productive. After converting emotional into cognitive only than can the conflict have a positive effect. The resolution process begins when the people involved realize that a problem has occurred. Stopping conflict before it takes place would inevitably benefit many lives. Patience, respect, and honesty can play as key factors in preventing conflict from ever occurring. Ideally, stopping conflict before it ever happens would add more of a productive light to every aspect of one's life.
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