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HUSBAND AND WIFE RELATIONSHIPIn the United States, marriage is a commitment two people make for the rest of their lives. The average American marriage lasts seven years. Well over half of all marriages end in divorce. Statistics of infidelity have rose fifty percent since the 170's and continues to rise. One out of every three marriages ends up in a divorce. What people don't understand is that the relationship between a husband and a wife should be sacred and trustworthy, without the trust and honesty there can be no marriage. A monogamy that is loving, sharing, and devoting one's self to another person for the rest of their life.Even some of the most primitive people look upon that very highly, but some of us have conveniently moved away from that. Two people in a marriage who are totally committed to each other will nourish and grow closer to each other everyday they are married. This brings them together as one; unlike some people believe they need to express their love to more than one person. They feel that one person is not enough to keep them satisfied emotionally, spiritually, and also physically. They believe that not being monogamous will open heart and soul to new and adventurous experiences. I believe monogamy is the best form of marriage. When two people get married they make life-long decisions to stay together as the wedding vow says, "until death do us part." Marriage is a commitment that not everyone is willing to take. I think if you have an intimate relationship with one another r, with one person who means the world to you and who makes you happy to be alive, how you can possibly share that kind of love with anybody else. Considering marriage is all about devoting one's self to that special someone. Being faithful in a marriage makes one feel accepted and loved, knowing they will always be there for them.Genesis 4 it clearly states that a man and a woman must unite as "one flesh" in order for their marriage and therefore parenting to work. They must see their children through one set of eyes that involves one set of goals, share one set of values, and act as one body when it comes to loving, teaching, and disciplining their children. They realize, that the single best thing they can do for their children is take extremely good care of their marriage. We can say that they are truly "one flesh".
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The lack of this one flesh union is displaced by the roles of father and mother. That instead of focusing on one another, they focus on their children, who therefore occupy center stage in the family. Instead of being of "one flesh". These couples are at a greater risk of divorce shortly after the last child is "brought up". A we all know, many married couples with children never even make it far. The reason being one flesh becomes two fleshes. The legal divorce only formalizes what has been already been there. The problem is that marriage is not what you or your spouse wants. It's about what God wants from us, his children. It's not about meeting what you and your spouse call "needs"- which are nothing but self-centered wants. When each of you already have a list of "needs" that you bring into the marriage, that each expect to meet, you already have two fleshes. You can only be one flesh by putting aside your individual pettiness and listening to God. Not you. Like any other relationship with time, the husband and wife relationship constantly changes. People change, society changes, as well as expectations. What we need to know as a society is that we need to "tune up" our relationships. Not let the emotional separation caused by hurts and disappointments, barriers, biological and psychological changes, and dreams and hopes that have been dissipated by time and as a result build a bridge that we are unable to cross. What most of us don't know when we become married is that which requires more energy, perseverance, honesty, and courage than any other pursuit they'll probably ever meet. Real success in a marriage involves coping with day-to-day events with the motivation to "go for it". It's the right attitude in both partners that can turn a marriage around, change minds, open hearts, heal families, and solve violence. But for some of us that right attitude doesn't come easy. Sometimes no matter how much you may try, if the other party does not cooperate it's not going to work. It's like bumping in the wall, over and over again. Eventually you get tired, tired of trying, tired of getting your feelings hurt and seeing that the other person just doesn't care. And what's worst about it is that the end you're so worn out, that you stop seeing light at the end of the tunnel. The person that's suppose to be with you through thick and thin, support you, and be your best friend, and when you see that reality is nowhere close to that, it's very disappointing, and very demoralizing. It makes you feel like a failure, because despite everything above all you still think maybe there was something else you could have done. Maybe if you would have done something different somewhere along the line things wouldn't have turned out the way they did. The feeling of helplessness, when you know you do have the power to make a difference fills you with grief. Some of us do a lot growing up at the beginning stages of our marriage, not just as a couple but as an individual. Especially if we marry at a young age, we are still finding who we are as an individual, and at the same time we're trying to find out who the person is that we married. Because it doesn't matter how well you think you know your partner, after you put on those rings and leave those church doors, it's a totally different ball game. I personally know some individuals that have admitted to this for their first 5 years of their marriage. Admitting that they were immature, selfish, and just not in the right frame of mind. The majority of these types of marriages don't last, but I extremely admire the ones that do. I don't quite understand though how some individuals can be in a type of relationship that they are being abused in some kind of way. Whether it is emotionaly, psychologically, or physically. WWhy would you stay with someone that obviously shows that there's no love, either that or they have a serious problem. Why don't they do something about it, are they in some kind of abusive relationship cause' they like it? Because that love nonsense is obviously not getting them anywhere. And even if they do seek help, help is just not enough. In some relationships the situation gets so bad that it's almost impossible to start over. Sometimes it's better to just end it, both individuals may not want that, but sometimes it's just the best thing to do. Healing our families; Can a marriage be turned around? You need two ingredients, an open mind and a change of heart. That is so much easier said than done. The absence of love is sometimes present, and then there's nothing that couple can do. The question, of "Why are we together?" comes around. Some of us try and be heroes and attempt to salvage whatever has not been damaged and try to be builders and reconstruct. That's usually the hardest, since you're so full of anger and resentment. It's very hard to let that go when you've been submitted to it for so long. As much as you may try, it's going to very difficult. It's almost like pretending it never happened, and that's nearly impossible. No matter how many years go by, the memory will always be there, unerased in our minds. Fresh like a first coat of paint. As a conclusion, marriage is like being in the military. It' what you make of it, you either suck it up and move on, or you groan and moan and be miserable the whole time. But despite everything, you should enjoy it while it lasts.
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